Rich Pimp Bling Bling

Oh this is awesome. Rhinestone-covered knuckledusters.

For those times when you absolutely, positively got to cave some muthafuckas skull in, accept no substitutes.

This one goes straight to the top of the Chrissie wish list

Computer-controlled air dart machine. Think "War Games" meets "Home Alone". Hilarity ensues.

Bruce Lee unites the world

This is awesome. Not only has Bruce Lee united all of Serbia with his awesome ninja-like abilities, but he's also caused a huge rift from some punk motherfuckers stealing his 65-year-old-anniversary-statue's nunchucks. "You want to fight? Fight me!" Shweeeeeeet.

Chrissie idea for me

This is the GREATEST THING EVAR. Yes, that is a bold statement, but I mean HONESTLY - this thing will take a kickass hard drive and show all your ripped movies and music and pictures and output them to stereo and TV. It's got all the fruit. I AM IN LOVE.

"iPod killer" Review

Qoolqee i

Warning, the following is not suitable for young children. It is one thing to concoct an iPod killer through unique styling, but somehow this one may have gone too far. For those who haven't figured it out, yes Virginia, it is shaped like an erect penis right down to the...um...body curve. Ahhh, I can see the commercials now with a beautiful young girl holding the unit firmly in her hands as she changes tracks by rubbing the...er...round...nib...ok, ok, you get the point.

Otherwise it is an average flash player with MP3, WMA, and OGG support, a monochrome screen, and runs 20 hours on one AAA battery. The unit also has an FM tuner and other stuff, which at the moment I can't seem to...recall...hmmm.

Mothers, if your daughters ask for one of these make sure you give them the talk first.

Dr Seuss meets Star Trek TNG

This is brilliant:

Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?

Data: Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?

Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine.

LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline!

Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!

Read the rest here.

Risk via Google Maps

Who here remembers the game of Risk? Well, some genius made it with google maps on the back-end. BRILLIANT!

My Pet Zombies

I SO FUCKING WANT ONE OF THESE IT IS NOT FUNNY.

Not all coffees are created equal

Phoar... What a variance of caffeine goodness per cup of coffee! I would say that Rocket Fuel on Stirling Highway near UWA has GOT to have some of the heavy mojo in it... :-)

Bloodspell Movie Trailer

This is cool, nnnnkay? Another machinima movie, but this time it looks pretty decent. Anachronox was good and all, but sometimes it was hard to follow the story with all the weird shit happening on screen. :-)

"Yum, yum, yum! Look at that great big frothy glass in Toi's hand. Wouldn't you just LOVE IT if a beautiful girl in a freaky cleavage-poppin' Oktoberfest outfit handed you a nice icy cold beer RIGHT NOW? Mmm, beer! Would you still drink it if I told you that Toi made that beer with yeast from her own vagina? That she made a keg of homebrew, called "Toi Sennhauser's OPB -- Original Pussy Beer"? Hmm, would you drink it then? Plenty of people were drinking the OPB at Toi's event at Crawl Space Gallery this past Saturday. I'm told that several people even got bonafide drunk."

Transparent Aluminium

Heh, it's funny because it was predicted in one of the worst commercial sci-fi movies of all time.

Classic magazine covers of the last 40 years

Poe meets Seuss

OMG. How many classic things can I find in one day??? This is a mashup of a classic Suess kids' book and a classic Poe poem.

Made-up words from the Simpsons

Wikipedia knows everything. EVERYTHING. In this case, it has a list of all the made-up-words from the Simpsons. My favourite of the day is "Groin-Grabbingly Transcendent" Classic.

LoTR meets WoW

Some genius has done a mashup with screenshots from the Lord of the Rings movie and put World of Warcraft subitles on them. Hilarity ensues!

Which Tarot Card are you?

This is fucken SPOOKY. My first alias on teh internets was hermit, and before that it was my tag name (taggers are fucktards that think it's cool to vandalise with spray paint). And since then it's been a password and the name of a product. And now I see a stupid quiz that tells me this is my card. Classic.


You are the Hermit card. The Hermit has chosen a
solitary spiritual path. He shines light on his
inner self and, by this means, gains wisdom.
The Hermit's home is the natural world and it
is by being in tune with that world that he
learns the laws of nature and learn how they
operate within himself. His path is a lonely
one as he lives in silence and has for
companionship only his own internal rhythms.
But those crossing his path are touched by his
light and wisdom. Though often alone, he
manages nevertheless to instruct those who meet
him and guides those who chose to follow him on
a path towards enlightenment. Image from The
Aleister Crowley Tarot deck.
http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/thoth/


Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Reasons why tattoos with chick's names aren't cool

This is a classic (old style) piece of art. It tells the story of my love life, I tell ya!

Coolest handset EVAR

This is so fucking money it oughtta be a crime.

Happy 911!

Guerilla Drive-ins

This is awesome. I believe that this needs to happen in Perth. NOW.

Some folks set up a digital projector outfitted with an FM transmitter and put it inside a car. Every couple of weeks they send out an e-mail to a listserv full of fans with details on the movie that will be showing, the wall it will be projected on, the time and whatnot. You show up, tune to the designated FM station and enjoy a flick, or steam up the windows. The Mobile Movie movement started in Santa Cruz, and is now playing in Berkeley, Oakland, Minneapolis, Dallas, Los Angeles, West Chester, PA., and Tampa City, FL

Super-SHWEET.

Ultimo home cinema

OMFG. This is the coolest product I have seen for AGES.
From BoingBoing:

Here's what it does: take any form of media -- DivX/MPEG/whatever video, still images, MP3s, etc -- and load it onto any storage medium -- hard-drive, SD cards, etc -- and this thing will play it back on your TV without requiring a PC. Download the latest Red Vs Blue clips, some machinima, and Battlestar Galactica and put them on an SD card, stick it in your camera and walk over to your friend's place. On the way, shoot a short clip of a street preacher and a photo series at a local garage sale. Take the SD out of your camera and stick it in your friend's Porta-Cinema and bam, you can watch it all, and play any MP3s you've got on your pocket-sized 100GB hard drive as well. The cost of the Porta-Cinema (not including any storage media) was about US$150.

Japanese sex shop curiosities

This is classic. This guy visited a seven-floor adult superstore in Japan and spills the goss on all the far-out freaky stuff that he saw there. And then he tells the story:

So of course we have to buy the beer can vagina, because we're drunk and it's funny, and we figure we'll find some entertaining unintended use for it. So we paid for it and continued on our merry way back to the hotel. Once there we said our goodbyes and retired to our rooms, and I realized that somehow I'd gotten stuck carrying the bag from the sex store. I set it down on the desk and didn't think much about it. That is, for a few minutes, until I found myself sitting on the bed in my hotel room, drunk and lonely and sexually frustrated, and I kept staring over at that stupid beer can vagina. "Maybe I should just try it. Just see what it feels like..." I mean, why not, right? You know. Just for kicks, right? So you know what? I fucked it. Yeah. I fucked a plastic beer can. I fucked the shit out of that can. And you know what? It felt alright. It did the trick. That is, until it was all over. Until the moment after, when I was hit by a sobering freight train of humility, looking down at my dick stuck inside a latex vagina housed in a plastic beer can. Moments like that you start to question everything - "How the hell did it come to this? Who am I? What am I doing with my life?" I probably sat there for an hour, silently with my plastic lover, pondering my existence.

The next morning, when the subject of the previous night came up and someone said, "oh, where's that funny beer can thing we got? Rob, you had it, right?" And everyone looks at me, and I just stare at them for a moment, and then say, "...I fucked it. I fucked it and I hated myself, and now it's gone." There was a slight pause, followed by uproarious laughter. The ridicule took months to subside.

That story took more courage to tell than my "Mr SettleForLess" story in the previous post. I take my hat off to him.

The victim of a serious crime

Picture it: out drinking with a large group of people that I don't know well. It's a fun night, everyone's talking, we're all having a great time. It becomes apparent that a not-so-hot girl likes me. Never mind, I am flattered b ut not interested.

People buy me drinks. There are these three girls that are all buying me drinks, fangirl as one of them. One of them is kinda hot. We all drink many many pints of beer. A good night is had by all.

Then somehow I realise that I was the only one drinking alcoholic beverages for the last few rounds. The girls are still buying, and I am happy enough to let them...

Then I realise that I was very very drunk, and they were not so drunk. And then everyone leaves except me and fangirl. I'm strande alone with fangirl. And I am drunk. And she is making EYES at me.

Then I realise that her tongue is down my throat, and she's telling me that we should get a taxi. Guess where she's suggesting we're going?

I suppose I should be flattered that she went to the trouble of having her friends team up on me to get me into the sack. Given that I am a guy, I do not know what it means to feel cheap and used. Hell, I had a great time. But STILL.You gotta worry when you are "targetted for selection".

I have seen the dark side of women: they hunt in packs.

Punk bed linen

Oh this is TEH SHIZ. Punk bed linen. Too bad I already had my thirtieth. These would be an amazing pressie...

Kiss my shiny metal ass

A PC casemod of Bender from Futurama. Complete with wisecrack of "Bite my shiny metal ass!" on demand, and a terabyte of storage, wifi, and other goodies. This is the best casemod EVAR.

No Bull

I have a story to tell you all. It is a story full of gynacological goodness. Of wonder and mystery, even. And above all, of the circle of life.

I spent the weekend in Albany, a wonderful small town in the South-West of Western Australia. It is a farming community that has become somewhat of a haven for very good wine and food. I went down there over three days with my family to relax, drink lots and eat lots. Mission accomplished. However there was so much more that happened to me. And it all began on my last night there...

We stayed at a farm house which is owned and operated by a 45-year-old lady who is born and bred in the area. I don't know why she was renting it out since it is her place, but I think it was only for a short time and she'll be moving back in. So we were lucky to have experienced such a lovely property. Organic eggs, freshly baked bread every morning, country life and only 10 minutes from town. Perfect. They even have cows and goats and chooks there (kinda gave that away with the egg reference...).

The lady there is a total MILF. She doesn't have kids, but she's the right generation and the right level of hotness. But she's also lovely and friendly, and while I only saw her a couple times she was kinda cool. She called by a couple times over the weekend to check on a cow that was ready to give birth. She saw the cow yesterday afternoon and said that it would definitely birth that evening. So my sister and I walked down to see her when she came back around 8 last night.

We all walked down to see the cow together; MILF, her neice, my sister and me. We wandered to the cow, and since it was dark Miss MILF went up to it and checked it out. There were two legs and a head sticking out of it, and it looked like the cow had been trying to birth it for an hour or two. Miss MILF saw that there was a problem, tried to pull the calf out, and couldn't. She sent my sister and her niece off to get more help, and asked me to come over and try pull it out. I rolled my sleeves up (about 5 degrees at that point and bloody cold), walked over, and lent a hand.

The legs were bloody slippery. I couldn't get a decent grip, but I tried my damnedest. MILF and I were in there together up to our elbows, trying to grip the calf's legs and pull in time to the cow's own pushing efforts. We were strugging together, and in the end I had both legs firmly gripped while the MILF was right up next to me gripping my arms and pulling along with me. After about ten minutes, we finally pulled the front legs and the head out. After another minute, the whole bull calf had come out and it was alive and well. The mother took ten minutes or so, then got up and started licking it clean and taking care of it. It was a beautiful, moving, wonderful thing. MILF and I just stood back and watched the wonder of nature, and reflected on the amazing thing that took place. Shortly after that, help came. Good timing.

All I could think at that time was "She had her boobies pushed against my face. AWESOME."

Is there something wrong with me? :-P

The monkeys have overrun the office

-----Original Message-----
>>> Darren 8/08/2005 11:10:09 am >>>
please read davids email below, as this is happening again....


>>> David 26/07/2005 10:28:03 am >>>
HI our server is currently running out of disk space, we added a new 20Gig drive over a month ago, I find this quite strange that this drive has been used up in such a short space of time, which leads me to think people are storing there own personal photos and other non-work related files, on our file server, we are moving some data off this server which will give more space until the new replacement server comes in but in the mean time if you have recently added some personal photos, or (non-work related files) can you please remove them, please don't take advantage of the fact people are allowed to access and store what files they want on our server unlike some organisations which remove this right.
Kind regards David

David TARD
Manager I.T. Systems

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Several issues here:

1) The IT people were so lazy they couldn't even come up with a freshly composed Email explaining the problem.
2) They only bought a 20GB disk. A month ago. And they wonder why it filled up. Can you even BUY disks that small any more?
3) They didn't buy another disk after it filled up the second time.
4) They seem to think that people must be storing non-work-related material on the servers. Far be it for people to be storing more data one their computers. I mean, it's not as if they use 6 megapix digital cameras for work, or have large powerpoint presentations, or archive all their Emails for future reference, or actually rely on computers on a daily basis...

All of a sudden, my workplace looks pretty good. ;-)

Mickey Mouse meets the Air Pirates

A touching tale of Mickey Mouse and his friends dealing drugs and shagging each other. Warms the cockles of the heart.

I don't think this was a Disney-endorsed comic...

Hillbilly photo album

As is noted in this photo collection, no captions are required. The images speak for themselves. Hillbillies at their most caring and sensitive, bonding with their friends.

Space tales

First up, a kick-ass escher-esque space photo from the reflection of a space helmet. Reflections on Earth.

Second up, a photo of ice on Mars.

How many punch cards make a 3 minute MP3?

"Assuming a non-Hollerith encoding with eight bits per column, and an MP3 file encoded at 128kbps CBR, there would be 36,864 cards in that deck, and the card reader would need a throughput of 205 cards per second. It might be wise to include an 8-column sequence number, however, so that a misordered deck can be repaired by a card sorter; with 72 data columns per card, the total is precisely 40,960 cards (40K cards), requiring a 228 card/second throughput." The 21 boxes of cards needed would by 5 feet 9 inches tall. That such a huge leap in technology is well within living memory astonishes Y.